Countdown to Action!

Howdy Howdy Howdy everyone! I am so excited for tonight because Sarah has been preparing really hard and she's finally ready to bag and skin herself a liberal who has spent the last 30-some years holed up in Snafu (that's what we call DC up around 60 North latitude). He's about a 36-pointer, so I prefer a head mount, but maybe she'll also hang the pelt in our living room next to the moose she shot 2 years ago. It probably won't look as good as the moose because the moose doesn't have plugs. 

The advisers really worked hard to help Sarah understand a lot of foreign policy issues that she didn't really get a chance to work on as Governor of the largest state of the nation. Sure, she knows about Russia, but commies aren't the only threat we face. A lot of the complicated stuff comes down to the strategy of how we keep the America safe from terrorism. Did you know for instance that many of our NATO partners look to us for pretty much everything that needs to be done if there's an international crisis that demands strong reaction? I guess that's what happens when you have a socialist government like France. Everyone works 20 hours a week, they all eat some cheese, drink some wine, and the economy doesn't produce Tom Dickey. Plus, the government over there is always meddling in the markets and deciding how many cars of whatever models should be made. It probably doesn't matter anyway because he showed me some pictures of a car called the 'Lemon' and it looked like a cross between a spaceship and a really ugly minivan, so no one buys them. Yuck. I guess the French are better at making pizza and fondue than they are at making cars.

This adviser seemed to know a lot about the French, and none of it seemed too good for small business owners over there. The adviser said that the French don't even have a word for 'entrepreneurship'. They also don't have a word for 'laissez-faire' which basically means in Roman or Latin that a government just lets its people do what's best for their own lives, families, and money.  In Alaska we have a lot of that laissez, like if you don't want to have indoor plumbing you can live that way, if Mr. Grizz is in our burn barrel and you want to take a shot at him, go ahead. We like to keep it copasetic, as long as you're not causing your neighbor any grief. 

That's just the thing with the philosophy of liberals like Old Pluggy we'll be seeing tonight. They want to take away your chance to shoot your gun so that you don't develop any marksmanship, then when you do need to protect your family from a bear who's in heaven licking nacho cheese residue from your garbage, you're not prepared to take the shot. It's a slippery slope, and it slides right into the outhouse pot like our neighbors have.

Is that what the greatest nation on earth needs? Heck no! 

Give 'em the business Sarah!

Tight lines and tight answers,

First Dude Todd

No Passport Required

A lot of Wasilla folks have asked me if I need to get a Passport once Sarah reaches the White House. Cripes, no, I reply, why would I need to have that new 800cc model from Snow Wolf if we're living down in Washington DC where there's no snow? No, not the Snow Wolf Passport, they say, a United States Passport that allows you entry to foreign lands? Well, first of all, if I want to visit a foreign land, I would just take the Piper across the Bering and glance down at Commieland. Second of all, why would I want to spend the taxpayers' hard-earned money to act like a tourist in some liberal country like Paris, where I have to eat cheese and horse entrails? Thanks but no thanks, I say.

But this raises a few interesting points.

First, the United States puts a lot of effort into making friends in other countries and this is often a good thing. For all of our frontier abilities here in Alaska, we don't have 100 million people to assemble toys, circuit breakers, potpourri candles, or other things like that that don't need to be the absolute highest quality like snowmachine tracks or new chainsaw bars. For those of you in the lower 48, the highest quality parts are often made in countries like Sweden, where their dedication to the free market (unlike the socialist liberals) makes sure that they are the absolute highest quality. In the United States, all of the really good stuff comes from companies like Minn-Kota and Johnson, in Southern states like Minnesota where they completely reject liberal philosophies.

Second, sometimes history reverses itself, like what happened in Russia, where that one politician who liberated them ended up in charge of the KBG. I don't know how they brainwashed him, but now it affects everything like the price of titanium that goes into my snowmachine brakes to how many Kamchatka brides we can import annually up on the North Slope. By December, when it finally gets down under 30 degrees here, I'm hoping that the Russians keep the gas prices down. I'm not too optimistic, because it's all a bunch of reformed commies who are trying to extort money for that LNG on the markets. They just don't believe in the free market like us in the U.S.

Third, and this is most important, the United States has a kind of image to keep up and those clowns in Washington don't help. I bet the world thinks that we're completely incompetent with all of these liberals in Washington and how they've been behaving. We're about to go from the ownership society, which was working perfectly well, to a pinko state where the government owns all the banks. Well, that will never happen in Wasilla, because my Uncle Stanley Yuu'taak owns the biggest bank in town, which is the East Wasilla Savings & Loan and Small Motor Repair Depot. He's a trustworthy red-blooded American who is as honest as the day is long. Remember that he was acquited, no thanks to those commies at the Progressive.

I can't wait for Sarah to get to Washington so that she can clean them up for good. Uncle Stanley can't wait either, and he is curious about how many small motors need good repair services down there. I guess we'll just have wait till next January to see.

Tight lines and Tight-Sealed Pistons,
First Dude Todd