Substance Abuse

My soon-to-be son-in-law Levi comes from a kinda wild family, and I'm not too sure that he has enough role models. I was a little bit the same way when I was his age, until Uncle Dwight Yuu'taak took me aside and gave me a little bit of advice. I think times have changed since my come-clean, as Uncle Dwight called it, but it's pretty clear that Levi needs a little wisdom from the elders. Levi is known to get a little bit rowdy on the beer, which is perfectly understandable for a young fellow who can skate and shoot the puck like he does. But there are 3 things that I'm going to tell him that he really needs to avoid.

First, he should never get caught with more than a quarter pound of weed, and I would say even 2 ounces of that BC Dee-Lite might be too much. It just looks bad, and people in the lower 48 may not understand it. Sure, we have lighter laws up here, and a lot of us use it to get through the winter, but it's all about perception. Plus, with Cheetos at $6.95 a bag over at the Trading Post, this can be an expensive hobby.

Second, avoid the gas. It's just too dangerous, because it never fails that you just get the tent set up when someone comes around with a lighter, which scares the cripes out of you. No gas, Levi.

Third, and this is really a must - meth has to be avoided at all costs. I should say most costs, because if you are a stripper, a roofer, or a Russian crab fisherman, it can actually make you more productive, until all your teeth turn brown and rot and you have to use all your savings to get the nubs pulled and to buy dentures. So, Levi, unless you find yourself in one of those professions, stay away from the meth.

I guess I'm gonna need Sarah to have this same talk with Bristol, although there's no way she could end up as a roofer or a crab fisherman.

Tight lines,
First Dude and Father-in-Law Todd