Hippies Need Not Apply

Hi Everyone - We just got back from golfing like 28 holes on a beautiful course outside of Sedona, and I really got sunburned after I had a few too many beers. It was pretty cool because we saw rattlesnakes and all, but I'm too tired to write something about today. Here's a little something that I wrote before we left Wasilla for the debate preparation. I miss Wasilla. Send me back!

Folks, I'm really pretty steamed today. It appears that either a hippie or a meth head siphoned all the gas out out of my truck. While I did see a few fellas with nubby teeth hanging around the gravel lot where my truck was parked, I'm leaning toward blaming the hippies.

You see, a lot of people think Alaska is full of tough frontier types like yours truly and the whole Yuu'taak clan over in East Wasilla. Well, it's true that Alaska is really America's frontier, where people who working hard in the forests, on the fields, and in the boats can make a good living and raise a family in God's country. What surprises a lot of people is just how many gosh-darned hippies there are up here. They're everywhere!

I don't really know when they started to wander up here. I say 'wander' because a hippie never has a plan, and by cripes, they are so aimless with their lives, relying on other peoples vehicles to bring them up from Berkeley or San Francisco or whatever sin-pot they come from. They hitch rides in on the long-haul trucks coming from anywhere and everywhere. They grab some unsuspecting young person who just happens to have four wheels and a trust fund to be able to drive his crappy VW bus all the way up here. I really don't know why someone in Wasilla doesn't own a VW Bus repair shop. It would serve 2 purposes, first it would make money off liberals, what I like to call perfect capitalism, and second it would help them get their cars fixed so that they could leave Wasilla and get the heck back to Portland or San Francisco. A win-win as we like to call it on the oil fields when we find both gas and oil in the same well.

I mean, look at that whole San Francisco area. What have they ever done for the national economy? When I look at all the technology coming out of the University of Alaska, and I see real innovations like making roads out of peat moss, They could probably put a few oil wells underneath that fancy golden gay bridge, but it wouldn't be worth it. That's not a win-win.

Tight lines and Gushers,
First Dude Todd

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